Addiction, Change in the making, Overcoming Hardships

Hunger for Jesus. 

John 8:12 When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness but will have the light of life.

I have been walking in darkness for so long. I was absolutely miserable. And I let people know it too  I had quite large pity parties just about everyday….I can only imagine how tiring it became to those around me.

I felt sorry for myself for having OCD, Rapid Cycle Bipolar, paranoia, PTSD, Borderline Personality Disorder (a lot of this stems from childhood), addictions, and eating disorders. I thought they DEFINED me  I thought I was a freak…And I did NOT want to  deal with any of it because it was hard and I hated hard things.

Well….for almost 10 years Ive been in the SAME cycle. Swearing up and down that Im going to do better and making ALL of these promises and then 9 times out of 10 I would fail. I chose failure. 

It was about a week ago that I was SO miserable and completely sick of it that I cried out to God and the Holy Spirit clearly told me, “Call Nanny (gma) and ask for Battlefield of the Mind” So, I picked up the phone….and she sent it to me without wanting it back. And. It. IS. The. Best. Book. Ive. Ever. Read. I read just about all of it but felt it upon my heart to go back through slower and take notes. Im in love.

I would LOVE to say that through Jesus and this book I am hopefully starting to have the light of life. Realizing that I truly can trust God and follow him.

His word says He WILL work everything for the good of those who love Him. 

Im choosing to believe that goes for my disorders and addictions as well. 
I hunger for Jesus. 

Xo

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